How to Write Admissions Essays
This is the detailed outline of a talk I used to give about writing admissions essays for law and business school. It distills pretty much everything I know about writing these essays, based on years of experience helping people get into some great programs. Since this is pretty much my detailed notes to myself, they are slightly abbreviated and not always elegantly written, but it’s good advice and it’s free.
I. Essay Writing Process
A. Can't just start writing, must know what you are going to say first
1. when you write before fully knowing what you are going to say, you have to think about two things at same time -- what you should say, and how you should say it -- which splits your attention, and neither is done to your best ability
2. essays written before they are fully understood end up poorly organized, hard to read
3. typically, when students start an essay before they are prepared to write it, they spend a lot more time on the essay than if they had outlined first
B. Brainstorm first
1. in brainstorming, think about what would make a perfect essay, especially your audience
2. come up with every idea you can possibly think of to talk about
3. then go through your ideas and pick the ones you will talk about
C. Outline second
1. your outline should include everything you want to say
2. in outline format you can figure out the best organization for everything, and move everything around easily -- you focus on what you want to say, not how you are going to say it
D. Advantages of this process
1. you never split your attention; only focus on one aspect of the essay at a time
a) faster
b) each aspect better done
2. allows you to spend a lot of time thinking about yourself, which will give a better background to the essay
a) the things you decide not to include will inform the things you do include
b) will allow you to better understand yourself, give you more confidence in what you say
3. saves you from having to do as much re-writing
II. Brainstorming
A. Process
1. Understand purpose of essay
2. Understand audience
3. brainstorm
4. develop all ideas
5. select best ideas
B. Purpose/Goal of Essay
1. Convince schools that they should accept you over other applicants
2. This is done by demonstrating good qualities primarily, and only sometimes by downplaying bad qualities
3. Being distinctive -- it is important to stand out
a) if you want to be selected over someone else, you must be better than they are, not the same
b) admissions officers read a lot of essays; most are the same; if you blend into this, they won't really notice what you are talking about
c) don't stand out for the sake of standing out -- your standing out must demonstrate qualities they are looking for - you want to stand out by being good, not just by being different
4. Don't ever be modest
C. Brainstorming step one: Think of ALL the qualities you have that make you a good person to admit (and write them down). Since this is brainstorming, write down any quality you can think of, no matter how silly or random. You can edit them down later.
D. Qualities schools want
1. There are a lot of good qualities a person could have; schools don't care about all of them (good looking, good sense of humor, etc.) Which ones do they want?
2. Put yourself in the shoes of the admissions committee and the school; what is the goal of the school
a) educate students
b) improve the reputation of the school
3. Schools want students who are easy to educate, and who will make the school look good
4. What makes a school look good?
a) students who are successful in school (easy to educate)
b) students with good statistics (SAT, GPA) which they already know about from transcripts, don't bother mentioning in the essay
c) students who will be successful after school
d) students who improve the quality of campus life
e) which is most important? from most to least important: successful after school, successful in school, improve quality of school life
5. You want to demonstrate that you will do some or all of the above
6. The qualities you demonstrate should be rare, or you should have more of them than most people, because you want to stand out (be admitted ahead of others) (e.g. an important aspect of being successful in school is wanting to be in school, but presumable everyone applying wants to be in school, so that's not something to mention, unless you somehow want to be in school more than does anyone else)
7. Qualities schools want -- actual qualities
1. intelligence
2. hard working
3. adaptable
4. risk taking
5. creativity
6. persistent
7. loves to learn
8. renaissance person
9. ambition
10. discipline
11. self motivated
12. overcomes obstacles
13. insightful
14. experience
15. diversity
E. A note on diversity
1. what is the benefit to the school of diversity? potentially, it makes the school a better place to be, which improves the quality of campus life; however, that is less important than other qualities you could mention, so it should typically not be the focus of your essay
2. be careful of basing whole essay on diversity; however, can you use diversity as part of showcasing other qualities -- if you can, great
3. for example, show your diverse background as having created obstacles you had to overcome, or given you useful insights, or unique and useful experiences
4. Example:
a) (I can’t show actual essay) the framing element for the essay was diversity
b) Author was from Singapore, intro paragraph talked about Singapore as a crossroads for SE Asia/India, used metaphor of Singaporean food, thesis was that she was similarly a crossroads of many different interests/abilities/experiences
c) body paragraphs talked about different things she was/did
d) she got to talk about great accomplishments/personality traits, and also mention that she was diverse, without seeming to brag or like she was saying "admit me because I'm a minority," and essay was interesting/informative
F. Brainstorming step two: Once you have listed the good qualities you possess, explain to yourself why a school would want them (typically you write a couple of sentences about each quality)
1. typically that's self evident, but it is a good exercise to help you understand what you will say about them in your essay
2. it will also help you prioritize them later on
G. Brainstorming step three: Think about how you will prove that you have those qualities
1. you can never just say you are some kind of person without backing it up (otherwise everyone would just say they were the smartest, hardest working person in the world and everyone would go to Harvard)
2. think about different ways you can demonstrate to the school that you have that quality
3. specific stories are usually the best proof, because they are more believable and more interesting/compelling for the reader
4. come up with many examples (brainstorm for examples) and later prioritize them for which
a) are easiest to explain
b) make the most interesting reading
c) demonstrate that quality best
d) are most compelling
5. Goal is to prove your ability in a fascinating way
H. Brainstorming step four: Select what you will talk about
1. prioritize according to
a) relevance to admissions
b) provability
c) degree to which you have it
d) uniqueness
I. Things to avoid:
1. laundry listing accomplishments (boring, generally doesn't give enough explanation to accomplishments, shows poor organizational skills)
2. negativity
a) don't say what you don't like, what you don't want, because both successful and unsuccessful people don't like things; you want to show that you like and want things that will lead to success; also, it's off putting
b) example of bad law school essay:
(1) talking about the things he hates about lawyers, and what he would never do as a lawyer (makes you think he doesn't want to be a lawyer, just a complainer)
(2) instead, he should talk about what he will do as an attorney
(3) not "I'd never lie, never put money first like other lawyers do," but, "I always strive for honesty and to put morality above all other considerations in making decisions (then give examples to prove it)"
3. unpleasant controversy
a) it's ok to say things that not everyone will agree with, as long as, when people don't agree they will understand why you think what you do and be sympathetic
J. Now it’s time to outline your essay (see section I.C. above)
III. Writing the Essay
A. Put yourself in the shoes of the reader
1. they have many essays to read
2. this means your essay must be easy to read (clear) and stand out
a) the best way to stand out is the quality of the content - that is, by saying compelling things, not by saying them in a compelling way
b) clear, easy to read prose will also stand out
c) it is very hard to stand out through style without making the essay hard to read or distracting from your content
B. Organization
1. Traditional essay organization is typically the best
2. announce what you are going to say before you say it
a) intro paragraphs which gives a sort of thesis for your entire essay, thesis sentences for each paragraph
b) this makes everything that comes after make sense, because the reader knows why you are talking about it
c) it also pre-disposes the reader to agree with you, because they're reading with your thesis in the back of their head already
3. good organization means the reader never wonders "Why are they saying that here?"
a) if something can't be understood without background, give that background first
b) if two things are related, talk about them near each other
c) talk about the most important things first
4. Intro paragraph
a) tell the reader what the whole essay is going to be about
(1) either announce it directly (thesis) or
(2) start right up with the story, if the story is the main part of the essay
b) don't waste time with unnecessary information -- ask yourself, "Will the reader understand what I want to say without this?" If yes, don't put it in.
5. Body paragraphs
a) first sentence should let the reader know what the whole paragraph is about, either by directly giving the topic, or by talking about the subject of the whole paragraph
b) one idea per paragraph
c) paragraphs should not be too long (hard to read) or too short (looks like you have nothing to say)
(1) real short is good sometimes for impact
6. Conclusion - short and sweet
C. Leave little to the reader's imagination
1. either tell the reader directly what you are trying to say about yourself or
2. the stories should be so unambiguous that there is no question what it says about you
D. The most important thing is clarity
1. you are trying to convey some aspect of your character - that must come across in what you are saying and/or in how you are saying it
2. clarity means that the reader understands what you are trying to say without expending effort -- your content comes across
3. clarity is a result primarily of organization, but also of writing style
E. Clear style
1. don’t try to use SAT words, just use words that come naturally
2. use simple, easy to follow sentences
F. Use a writing style you are comfortable with
1. trying to drastically change your style for these essays will generally result in awkward writing
2. if you normally don't use a lot of big words, or long sentences, don't try to do it here
G. Be a little formal
1. avoid contractions (mostly)
2. avoid colloquialisms, slang
H. Other stuff
1. Evidence/Examples:
a) the evidence you give should relate directly to what you are trying to show, or are talking about
2. Word choice:
a) ask yourself, "Does this sentence mean what I want it to mean?"
b) ask yourself, "What am I trying to say?" Often, it is best to write the answer to that question, rather than trying to write differently than you think/talk
3. quotes: don’t use them unless you absolutely have to
4. Try to avoid saying things which are obvious as if they are profound
I. Creativity in Essays
1. What are the possible benefits of a creative essay?
a) attention getting/stands out
b) demonstrates (possibly):
(1) creativity
(2) independence
(3) problem solving skills
(4) "thinking outside the box"
(5) improve school atmosphere
2. What are the possible negatives of a creative essay?
a) creativity takes up space, essays usually have space limitations; the space taken by the creative aspects may be space you need to use to talk about other characteristics
b) being creative takes time, sometimes an essay writer spends so much time thinking of a "gimmick" that the content of their essay is weak
c) can make essay unclear or hard to read
d) can be off putting
(1) too cute (not serious enough for school)
(2) trite (may actually be not too creative, makes you look like an unoriginal thinker, or pretentious, having bad judgment)
(3) gimmicky (seems like it has no substance)
e) the creativity can distract from the content of the essay
3. When should you use creativity in an essay?
a) you have a unique, interesting idea that also conveys other positive qualities about yourself
b) you have absolutely no doubts about your idea, nor do other people you briefly explain it to
J. Editing your essay: absolutely crucial.
1. Easiest way: Read your essay aloud to yourself. You will hear where it sounds unnatural or awkward.
2. Even better way: Read it aloud to someone else. All the benefits of reading aloud to yourself plus: ask them to summarize it after you read it to them. If they get the main ideas clearly, then it was a good essay. If they did not, or you have to explain it to them, it’s not clear enough. You should be shooting for something that people can get the first time they read it without having to put out too much effort.
IV. Other Considerations
A. Truth in Essays -- Honesty is the best policy
1. honesty is morally right
2. honesty is easiest (don't have to go to the trouble of making things up, in addition to the trouble of writing the essay)
3. honesty is the most effective
a) who you are is conveyed not only through what you say but through how you say it; it is very difficult to control these little nuances of style and character that will unconsciously come through in your essays, and may subtly contradict the story you are trying to tell
b) you know the most about what actually happened in your life; therefore, the stories you tell about your life will have the ring of truth (it’s the little details which you don't think about that make something sound more or less true)
c) it's very hard to lie convincingly throughout not only your entire essay but the entire application, your resume, your transcripts, etc.
B. Word/Page Limits
1. obey them, and, when it doesn't say otherwise, use a reasonable font (at least 10 pts)
a) double spacing is preferable, but single spacing is OK if you have to squeeze something in
b) don't play with margins -- at least 1" all around
2. Put yourself in the shoes of the reader
a) they've got a lot to read, so they want to control the amount they get
b) they don't want to read anything that is printed so that it is hard to read
c) they want to see that you can follow instructions
C. Don't go off topic
1. you must answer the question provided
V. Discussing Negative Experiences in Essays
A. Two issues
1. When to talk about a painful experience, a negative experience, or a failure
2. When to try to explain or excuse something in your past
B. Painful/negative experiences (trauma in past, illness, death in family, failure, loss)
1. as always, think about what the experience says about you
a) good qualities potentially demonstrated by negative experiences
(1) able to overcome real adversity
(2) learned important lesson, grew
(3) personal strength
(4) willing to try new/risky things (that might lead to failure)
b) non-good (mediocre) things potentially demonstrated by negative experiences
(1) lived through difficult times (most people have -- succeeded, grew through difficult times is better, or survived in extremely difficult times is better)
(2) had a hard life (meaningless unless you overcame, thrived through it)
c) bad things potentially demonstrated by negative experiences
(1) make bad choices/take excessive risks
(2) currently fragile/unstable
(3) can't recover from bad experiences
d) the same experience, pitched differently, can either say good or bad things about you
2. whenever you use a bad experience to show good qualities, make sure they come through in a concrete manner
a) either they are clearly evident in the course of the experience itself (for example, you pull yourself out of a raging flood, that demonstrates strength)
b) if you learned something or grew from the experience, give an example of a time you used this new knowledge/wisdom afterwards
3. things to avoid
a) making the audience uncomfortable (people often don't like to be exposed to another person's pain)
b) irrelevant information (just because it is important to you doesn't mean it will be useful to an admissions committee)
C. Explaining/Excusing (if you have something bad in your records and you want to show that it is not as bad as it looks)
1. when to do it:
a) the blemish will definitely be noticed (it's on your transcripts, for example) (otherwise you might be calling attention to it that wouldn’t otherwise be there)
b) the blemish is really bad (an F, not a B; excusing so-so things makes you look bad because it says you consider it bad, why didn't you do better?, calls attention to them)
2. try to show that you are better now, that you gained from the experience, or that you have done better since